Boarders, so clear before, began to fade away, smudge and become indecipherable. I tried to stop it. Stop the merge. Stop the feeling that accumulated in the pit of my somache, but the seed had been lain. The inky hues of my life began to run into each other. Everything I had held apart, far, in small little boxes. The black and the white. The black and the white, nothing but either black or white. The inky hues of my life which I had so carefully separated, strained from each other, and packed neatly in boxes of my mind began to fling themselves open. They flung themselves open and bled into each other. Now my life, clean as it was, began to fade. Fade from it’s deep colored black and pure white. It began to fade into a grey. Black can be deep. White can be pure, but grey. Grey cannot be deep, and grey certainly cannot be pure. My life became grey. Individuality slipped through my fingers like hair through a brush and at once I knew nothing could be as it was again. My life, as it previously had been, was ending and giving way to an amorphic haze which came upon me like a lion stalksit’s pray, except it finally pounced. It might have been the summer, the sweetness of the air or the anticipation of the universes promise hanging on my shoulders but the grey swirled inside my mind like cream in coffee and all of a sudden I no longer knew what I wanted to do. I no longer knew what I liked much less who I liked. I tried going back to basics, back tracking to the last thing I remembered loving. Broccoli. Hours of raking my mind and all I could remember liking, I mean really loving was broccoli. I guess I still do. No favorite color, no favorite movie. Who did I love? What songs did I hum under my breath? Given the choice would I shower or bathe? Grey. Everything welded to itself curving inward like over grown nails, and the grey took over. My phone screen lit up. I expected it to be empty. It was. I checked the time. “He’s asleep”Laurie squeaked from next to me. She held my hand underneath the covers, I slide so my head was covered. I felt underneath the ocean, the turquoise comforter was a great idea. I felt like I was drowning. Laurie’s feet squirmed. She didn’t like me drunk, I started to get honest. “He’s not asleep.” I slurred. “I’m under the ocean.”She cracked her toes. It was time for me to sleep this off. I reached for the switch near the door in my room, and everything went black. Laurie coughed. Now I cracked my toes.